As the old joke goes, man woman and you'll discover the obvious: No manual entry for woman. I'm a rarity among programmers in that I enjoy writing documentation, so I will attempt to remedy the documentation as it applies to one woman in particular.
| NAME | ||||
| Ann Barcomb - a person
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| SYNOPSIS | ||||
| Ann [--hello] [--bye]
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| DESCRIPTION | ||||
| The Ann person reads a lot, writes Perl, and
amuses herself by mapping programming to life.
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| Expressions to avoid | ||||
| Ann is not compatible
with the following expressions:
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| I'll let you go | ||||
| Victims of Ann's temper
report that the subject's responses ranged from
"I don't need your permission!" to "If you need
to go, say so, but don't pretend you're doing it for my
benefit." but they are agreed that this simple
phrase--which is so often innocently used to end
conversations--is not well received.
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| Have a nice day! | ||||
| Ann
is prone to snarl: "Don't tell me what kind of a day to
have."
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| Humor | ||||
| Ann has a sense of humor, but it is
sometimes elusive. Here are some guidelines:
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| Puns | ||||
| Ann often claims that she does not
like and does not understand puns. This is not strictly true.
She does not appreciate puns which are recounted. So-called
jokes where a long story is told for the purpose of a pun
are simply not funny to her. But she can appreciate the
brilliance of a pun which perfectly suits the moment (provided
she gets it). In her opinion, puns are one of the most
difficult forms of humor to successfully express, and the
fact that they are so often recounted badly (a successful
pun can never be recounted to proper effect) requires the
blanket statement concerning puns.
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| Sarcasm | ||||
| Sarcasm is the only form of humor
Ann is equiped to exhibit on a regular
basis.
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| Slapstick | ||||
| Slapstick is the least funny of all forms of
humor, with the possible exception of dirty jokes and
failed puns.
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| BUGS | ||||
| This person is allergic to foods she likes.
She is also allergic to cats.
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| CAVEATS | ||||
| This document has been intentionally left incomplete.
This document is not the key to interacting with
Ann. If you need a manual for human interaction,
you and Ann will probably not get along.
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