The owner of this site in profile, in black and white with a violet wash. (link to homepage)   mAnnual

As the old joke goes, man woman and you'll discover the obvious: No manual entry for woman. I'm a rarity among programmers in that I enjoy writing documentation, so I will attempt to remedy the documentation as it applies to one woman in particular.

  Ann Barcomb - a person

  Ann [--hello] [--bye]

  The Ann person reads a lot, writes Perl, and amuses herself by mapping programming to life.

Expressions to avoid
  Ann is not compatible with the following expressions:

I'll let you go
  Victims of Ann's temper report that the subject's responses ranged from "I don't need your permission!" to "If you need to go, say so, but don't pretend you're doing it for my benefit." but they are agreed that this simple phrase--which is so often innocently used to end conversations--is not well received.

Have a nice day!
  Ann is prone to snarl: "Don't tell me what kind of a day to have."

  Ann has a sense of humor, but it is sometimes elusive. Here are some guidelines:

  Ann often claims that she does not like and does not understand puns. This is not strictly true. She does not appreciate puns which are recounted. So-called jokes where a long story is told for the purpose of a pun are simply not funny to her. But she can appreciate the brilliance of a pun which perfectly suits the moment (provided she gets it). In her opinion, puns are one of the most difficult forms of humor to successfully express, and the fact that they are so often recounted badly (a successful pun can never be recounted to proper effect) requires the blanket statement concerning puns.

  Sarcasm is the only form of humor Ann is equiped to exhibit on a regular basis.

  Slapstick is the least funny of all forms of humor, with the possible exception of dirty jokes and failed puns.

  This person is allergic to foods she likes. She is also allergic to cats.

  This document has been intentionally left incomplete. This document is not the key to interacting with Ann. If you need a manual for human interaction, you and Ann will probably not get along.

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Copyright, rights reserved, &tc: Ann Barcomb, 2004 - 2015.
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