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mAnnual

As the old joke goes, man woman and you'll discover the obvious: No manual entry for woman. I'm a rarity among programmers in that I enjoy writing documentation, so I will attempt to remedy the documentation as it applies to one woman in particular.

NAME

Ann Barcomb - a person

SYNOPSIS

Ann [--hello] [--bye]

DESCRIPTION

The Ann person reads a lot, writes Perl, and amuses herself by mapping programming to life.

Expressions to avoid

Ann is not compatible with the following expressions:

I'll let you go

Victims of Ann's temper report that the subject's responses ranged from "I don't need your permission!" to "If you need to go, say so, but don't pretend you're doing it for my benefit." but they are agreed that this simple phrase--which is so often innocently used to end conversations--is not well received.

Have a nice day!

Ann is prone to snarl: "Don't tell me what kind of a day to have."

Humor

Ann has a sense of humor, but it is sometimes elusive. Here are some guidelines:

Puns

Ann often claims that she does not like and does not understand puns. This is not strictly true. She does not appreciate puns which are recounted. So-called jokes where a long story is told for the purpose of a pun are simply not funny to her. But she can appreciate the brilliance of a pun which perfectly suits the moment (provided she gets it). In her opinion, puns are one of the most difficult forms of humor to successfully express, and the fact that they are so often recounted badly (a successful pun can never be recounted to proper effect) requires the blanket statement concerning puns.

Sarcasm

Sarcasm is the only form of humor Ann is equiped to exhibit on a regular basis.

Slapstick

Slapstick is the least funny of all forms of humor, with the possible exception of dirty jokes and failed puns.

BUGS

This person is allergic to foods she likes. She is also allergic to cats.

CAVEATS

This document has been intentionally left incomplete. This document is not the key to interacting with Ann. If you need a manual for human interaction, you and Ann will probably not get along.

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Copyright and information section:

Copyright, rights reserved, &tc: Ann Barcomb, 2004 - 2015.
This page was last modified 2488 days ago.

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